Some Girls Do It Better

I normally wouldn't verge so far from my repertoire of shoes, sex, and sass, but right now I just feel differently. It's like the smell of Windex is in the air, and the hills are alive with the sound of sweeping.

(You are perfectly allowed to be confused at this point.)

I have a qualm with society - particularly women.

What ever happened to the spunky little girls who were just dying to clean up house?

When did cleaning (in most cases, only after yourself!) become such a burden upon all of female existence? I've found that some expect it to be handled for them, whether it be janitorial workers, personal maids or perhaps an evaporation program the government's been hiding from us.

I would not classify myself as a feminist, not with the warped idea that surrounds the word today. I absolutely support a woman's right to earn the same wage, have the choice to have a child (or not) and generally do what she wishes, up to the point in which it would endanger others. It's a fairly basic concept, but I see no need to entangle the life of others into my personal business - leave it all be, I say.

The problem appears when women far so fall off a traditional view of themselves, whether it be in blatant rebellion of the social norms or whatever other reason have you. Do you really think you are so entitled to live a life untarnished by menial labour work? I walk into some places and it is simply embarrassing how unkempt it all is. And to little surprise, this girl is almost guaranteed to have spent an exorbitant amount of money on her nails/hair/mascara. It's the most bizarre of inverse relationships.

Nobody dusts anymore, nobody finds joy in sanitizing and re-organizing. I must be the only one left who thinks tupperware should have a home to call its own.

Of course this does not apply to every woman I know, but my god. When I visit male friends (as well as other "friends") in their home, I tend to see a strange shift that I don't know how to interpret. They now own crockery? Is that spice rack really sorted through alphabetically? You use your coffee table, not as an over glorified ash tray but as a coffee table?!

It would boggle the mind of anyone smarter, I promise you.

If men can 'bring home the bacon' as it were, and now clean up after cooking it ? It is a sad state if we can't even pick up a dust pan without cringing or complaining about excessively strained wrist pain. It may seem I am exaggerating, and I wish I were. Come the fuck on.

Of course there is bias here. I personally enjoy cleaning. As with most things in life I verge on the excessive side. Massive organizational sweeps, the urge to seek and destroy all expired products within a 5km radius... lord help us all if I find a magic eraser, because your walls will find a way to be removed of every scuff you never even noticed was there.

(My mother would be so, so proud.)

But even if it doesn't soothe your anxiety and tension like it does mine, it is a fact of life that some day you will have to pick up your own slack. I could care less if you can afford the help, it shows an ugly side to a person if they cannot take care of their surroundings. The correlation between environment, relationships, health, etc isn't nonsense after all. Careless is careless, no matter what the circumstance.

I do not find it demeaning or unnecessary to clean for myself. If you can't wipe down a countertop after using it, I probably wouldn't want to talk to you anyways - how can I expect you to return my shoes back to me in mint condition? You will never understand the joy I find in hand washing delicates and I pity you.

I'm not suggesting you invest massive stock in Clorox, but there is something to be said for those who take pride in their homes, cars, purses, computer desktop screens.. It all adds up to spell S-L-O-B.

Don't make me doubt that you couldn't hold your own in a casual purse/bathroom/car rummage in search of a tampon, mints, or anywhere else. I want to believe so, so much that you don't have gum wrapped in a parking ticket from 2007 hanging around the bottom of your bowler bag from 2013.

remember, cleanliness is next to godliness (as well as betchiness),

Nicole xo